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2011 has been a nightmare , last night , my nerves got the better of and I came to terems that I’m going to have to face a situation head on.

I’m more than nervous about returning to a place I called ‘ Home ‘.

The place I used to go to to get away , has now become a place that’s tainted due to a life instance.

I’ve never been this alone with my thoughts in my life , sometimes I think should I even consider going back at all because I know I’ll be ill for a while before heading out , I need to kill this feeling.

The way I view it now is , I did not deserve her , I deserved something far better .

Not one email of any explanation has ever been made to me.

I’m empty.

Having to disappear for a couple of days to S Coast , dunno if they have internet etc , probably do , but who knows.

Course plus exams hmmm

Remembrance Sunday is approaching and poppies are on sale to raise money for the Royal British Legion. But what is the etiquette when it comes to wearing one?

Worn to remember the nation’s war dead, the red poppy is a widely recognised emblem.

Millions of poppies were sold last year and the appeal raised £30m for the Royal British Legion’s charitable work.

But what is the etiquette of wearing one?

1. Should you wear one?

The poppy commemorates those who have died in war. The tradition was started by American teacher Moina Bell Michael, who sold silk poppies to friends to raise money for the ex-service community. In 1920 the poppy was proclaimed the national emblem of remembrance in the US, and in the UK, the first poppy day was in 1921. Last year Britons bought 26m poppies, but others choose not to. Channel 4 newsreader Jon Snow famously refuses to wear one on air, reportedly saying he does not want to bow to “poppy fascism”.

2. What colour to wear – red, white or purple?

Red is most popular, but the lesser-seen white poppy dates from 1933, when the Women’s Co-operative Guild wanted a lasting symbol for peace and an end to all wars. But the Royal British Legion refused to be associated with their manufacture, and so the Co-operative Wholesale Society took on production. The intention was not to offend the memory of those who died in the Great War, but many veterans felt white poppies undermined their contribution and the lasting meaning of the red poppy. Feelings ran so high that some women lost their jobs in the 1930s for wearing white poppies. Critics argue the red poppy already encompasses the sentiments of white one, which they say also diverts funds for the Royal British Legion. Then there are purple poppies, worn to remember the animal victims of war and sold by animal charities.

3. When to start wearing one?

Many people think poppies should be worn from 1 November until Armistice Day on 11 November. Others pin one on only in the week running up to Remembrance Sunday – 8 November this year. A Royal British Legion spokesman says they can be worn from the launch of the poppy appeal, which this year was 22 October. Organisations like the BBC usually choose a day for presenters to start wearing one. This year it was from 6am on 24 October.
4. Where to pin your poppy – left or right. Some people say left, as it’s worn over the heart. It is also where military medals are worn. Others say only the Queen and Royal Family are allowed to wear a poppy on the right, which isn’t true. Then there is the school of thought that says men should wear theirs on the left and women on the right, as is the traditional custom with a badge or brooch. The Royal British Legion spokesman says there is no right or wrong side “other than to wear it with pride”.

5. What size should it be?

The traditional poppy is roughly 7cm from red tip to the bottom of its green stalk and 4cm wide. But other sizes are worn. The Queen Mother had an extra large poppy – even two sometimes – specially made for her each year. And Baroness Sayeeda Warsi sported a super-size poppy for last Thursday’s controversial Question Time. Why someone wears a larger poppy is open to debate. An attempt to stand out from the crowd, maybe a nonconformist gesture? Whatever the reason, that splash of red certainly gets noticed.

I have killed my facebook account , for the coming future it was stealing my life.

My only contact is on my regular email or through here.

See no one blvd it could be done on the X.

Hooray I’m free from mediocrity and away from a place that can only be described as the worst possible place; I’ve ever had to endure.

It’s the only place that I’ve been ashamed to tell them where I work.

Harsh but true.

Onto a new job and new ideas, it’s a change; so let’s see how it goes.

A few things in the pipeline, I’m off back to college, courtesy of my new funding agency.

Residing in a lovely hotel, with all the affluent types.

I’ll be Alan Partridge for a while or so.

Ahaaaaa

It’s at times like this, when I lookout of my window at dusk and observe the fading light and I think of my friends, not the fair-weather types, but those I’ve grown to know and love in an off the scale level.

Not materialistic types hung up on labels and rubbish, but people that love life and respect people just for being ‘them’.

I just can’t put my finger on it and I’m not articulate enough to encapsulate it in a two dimensional text.

Just to say I’m blessed with them in my life.

My retirement seems so long away, and one day my ship will come in when I don’t have to leave them behind.

I miss them heaps and heaps and although with modern technology, they seem so very very far away and I miss them so.

I miss there hugs, I miss their smiles, I miss them just being around, they give me something that eludes my life over here across the great divide.

One day guys, one day guys, we’ll never ever have to say goodbye again.

There can never ever be a a good and a bye in the same sentance , there is no good bye.

And to one extra special person, I hope our lives grow together, fuller and richer .

I miss you , more than you can imagine or are willing to accept

Wishes his iwi safe times.

But maybe just maybe he’s fallen for a smile.

I wonder if they need any deck hand bush craft chef’s in their life ?

I’ve had enough of my job now, I really have, one of the only people I’ve ever had a common affinity with in my place of work is seriously considering throwing in the cards.

The petty bureaucracy at work has taken a bad turn again but this time it’s extracting the urine.

The last surviving member of my old team maybe leaving and I don’t want to be the soul survivor.

I know times are tight but I really feel no affinity or loyalty to my current employer and have felt distant from their ways and means for ages now.

I don’t find myself having anything in common with the organization or it’s validity for even longer.

It’s become top heavy with non-entities, failures in service and standards seem to have been able to rise to the top, and I do draw the analogy with effluent rising to the top.

The sycophants seem to be kissing butt all over the place and the so called middle management do nothing, to champion their staff, if there was a vote of no confidence, I’d be at the head of the queue.

They really are pathetically weak.

In my life al; I can say is ‘ It goes on ‘.

I will endure it , because at the current time , no one at “Ascobury” supermarkets is taking any shelf stackers.

I will not be doing anything drastic but I ‘m a v fortunate position unlike many others in that my finances are good , maybe a home study course in organic gardening.

I will leave it to my ‘smile’ to train me in being crew

In the meantime it’s back to being a hippy planting stuff.

Thanks to Matron for my Rhubarb [ NB not around for at least two years for those that want some of my produce.

In the meantime , please excuse the religious types for hi jacking , the pagan festival of Yule and I wish you all a happy Solstice for the weekend.

No cash or wrapping paper required , just a seasonal greeting